To Thine Own Self Be True

My Self, Your Self – written and illustrated by Esmé Shapiro
Tundra Books, 2022

It’s important to note that the word “self” in the title of this book is separated from the possessive “my” and “your.” With her inimitable style, and sense of how children perceive both the world and their own feelings, Esmé Shapiro (whose work I have reviewed here and here) has created a creature out of each person’s inner identity.  This small being, with rounded eyes, four limbs, and a leafy plant growing out of its head, becomes the way for kids to visualize how and why they are each unique. 

Shapiro both ventures definitive statements and poses questions to her readers.  “MY self is not YOUR self” may seem obvious, but it also demands some definition: “What is a self? Is it INSIDE of us? Or OUTSIDE of us?” Then she becomes more specific, categorizing through examples of how the part of each person that confers individuality may include buttoning one’s coat a certain way, liking the personal attributes of his or her friends, and baking muffins meant to be shared.

Helping one another to manage fears is another attribute of selfhood, and that trait encourages children to think about empathy.  Someone who is secure in her own sense of self is more likely to respond to others.

In Shapiro’s books, reassuring lessons play a role, but the fantastic nature of imagining is never absent.  Having accepted that people, or creatures with plants growing from their heads, all have different selves, she extends the possibilities of what that means.  Do acorns also have selves?  That slightly off-kilter moment leads to some meditations on choice, including what color to paint mushrooms, and colors, which roses to stop and smell.  But she returns to her central premise.  Feeling comfortable in one own’s skin (or perhaps fur?) makes relating to others that much easier. Every word of the text and each picture reflects E.M. Forster’s adage to “only connect,” but translated for children.  Some scenes show the self happily alone, resting inside a flower as it floats on the water. Solitude doesn’t mean loneliness, because a strong inner core strengthens everyone and also ensures flexibility: “My self comes with HERE…it follows me THERE…I bring my self EVERYWHERE!” This feature brings joy, not instability.

Of course, at the end of the day, selves need to share their experiences with one another.  A warm embrace among the flowers shelters these sweetly odd-appearing friends. They are wide, slender, long-limbed, or curled as a snail, but all easily identifiable to children as their own distinct identities, no matter what color they paint mushrooms or what kind of boots they wear.